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Put your home to work with a home equity loan. Don't leave money on the table! Get a cashback card. HARP is going to expire in ; refinance today. Top Banks are Offering 1. A six-figure salary in San Francisco is now considered 'low Millennials may be the first generation less healthy than their Ladders. Japanese employee's pay docked for starting lunch 3 minutes Men's grooming for beginners: Why you should pay more attent If you change your mind, here's how to allow notifications: If you are struggling to set it all up, I would suggest speaking to an accountant who can help determine which option would best suit you.
Also talking to an accountant will aid you in determining which industry you would like have your new business or company operating in. Different options have different tax deductions and benefits and you may need some guidance in choosing which will work best for you. In the mean time dan murphies and amazon online gift cards can be purchased by clients and emailed to your account. These gift cards usually take 30 minutes to be sent to you.
These are a great option for last minute requests and international deposits. You also can use these gift cards without providing your real name to clients. I've been thinking about starting escorting for a while. I prefer to work as an independent escort rather than for an agency. Unfortunately, I have some questions regarding safety and other aspects before I even get it started.
I really appreciate the opportunity you've given. As far as I know, in-call services are illegal in the state where I live. I feel it's quite risky to go to a client's residence.
Besides screening bookings really carefully, what else do you do to make sure you'll be safe? As I know, most girls only accept cash payment. But I find it's rather hard to ask client for money in an appropriate and delicate way.
How do you usually handle it without making clients feel uncomfortable? Thanks for reaching out. I am more than happy to answer your questions. Obtaining as much information as you can before you decide to start is wise. There are so many variables in as many situations that turn a booking from a happy one to a scary one. Understanding your risks and taking steps to avoid trouble is key to maintaining a safe work space for yourself.
I personally do not visit clients houses unless I have known them for a while. For me I find visiting a private residence anxiety producing and in turn the booking for me is not enjoyable. I also prefer to minimise any potential risk or harm that could come to me. Being based in Sydney, I can provide In call and I do here. Unfortunately some of our state laws are just downright stupid and those workers trying to work within these laws are put in harms way by them.
I know other workers who do travel to houses and apartments. They each have their own security measures that suit them for reassurance. Deposits are usually requested and photos of the clients ID showing an address and full name. I would also request a photo of a bill to prove the name and address match. Maybe ask for a reference as well from another worker the client has seen. If at anytime your instinct tells you not go or to leave immediately, trust that.
Your instinct is your biggest protector. Scarlet Alliance has a great break down of states laws and I have attached the link below for you:. Yes you can ask a client to book a room in his name. When you do out calls to hotels ask for the clients room number and name to call ahead to the room.
This verifies the name is correct and you can also quickly listen to see if there is more than one person in the room. This also can confirm your client is real and not wasting your time. Put into place a buddy system. Always let your buddy know when you have arrived, collected your money and when you have left the job.
Let them know the address of where you are going. I have a PA for this, before that a small group of workers who all looked after each other. Make it known in all your ads that the financial stuff has to be done within the first 5 minutes. I usually welcome my client, have a drink and a chat to relax. Then I ask to do my visual sexual health check.
Once that is all good I ask them to have a shower and if they have an "envelope" for me. When they are in the shower, take a few minutes to check it is all there and place it somewhere safe and out of sight. Do not leave it lying around. If the client has given you the incorrect amount you will have to bring this up in discussion before the service. Make sure you don't take your full wallet with ID that show your full name an address.
It's best air with caution. You don't want any stalker surprises later down the track. Yes I have had a few uncomfortable situations. Putting into place your screening and deposit policy and sticking to them is really important for your safety.
Take self defence classes and know how to protect yourself. Learning how to engage with people and how to defuse heated situations may save your life. I have mentioned a bad situation in another post in here already.
Each week fluctuates depending on where I am touring and how much I want to work. I never work if I don't want to, it's bad for your mental health to push yourself like that. You do a lot of touring with your job. I do tour a lot, sometimes a bit too much. I am not going to know what an Earth to do with myself just staying in one place ;. I make time when I tour to go out and enjoy the culture and city.
Even if it is just for breakfast or a quick lunch on a busy day. I am hoping to add a few international cities by the end of this year. Your job does sound intriguing indeed. My question might be a bit off topic, yet I just have to ask: If you were to be stranded on a lonely island, which three things would you be taking with you and why?
Thank you in advance, Miss Vivienne. Taking some time out to be stranded on a very lonely island actually sounds like a great holiday! I do think I would get bored of my own company after a while. Three things I would take:. Oh, I can tell you how much I would have loved to share that little piece of earth with you too A man can dream.
I have another question: What do you love most about your job and what do you hate most about it? Sex work just like any other work has it's perks and it's short comings. Just like any other job we have good days and bad ones too! I love so many things about my job I would honestly struggle to name them all.
A few of the best would have to be meeting new people, opportunity to travel, money and working for myself. These good outweigh the bad, however the bad is still there. Surprisingly travel comes up in both good and bad. I have toured so much I have felt a bit depleted in the past.
You learn very quickly about the importance of pacing yourself so you don't crash and burn. So much energy and time goes into planning a successful tour. Some other of my least favourite things would be people deliberately wasting my time for their enjoyment and disrespectful clients who attempt to push your boundaries. You said in an early question you told some of your family and I was just wondering if you could share information regarding how you informed those around you that you are a SW?
And did any of those reactions surprise you? My mother has suspected I was up to something. She has met a lot of my friends over the years who are now out and proud as SW. Many in publications and on TV. Just before Christmas she came to my apartment and I forgot to hide the signed Dita Von Tease coffee table book that is signed to "Vivienne Black". She asked me if that was me and I said no. I was in shock, I wasn't ready to talk about it. Since then I have seen her a few times but we have yet to discuss everything in detail.
That's an up and coming conversation planned in the next few weeks. She is reaching out to meet up with me, so I think she is ready to learn about my other life now too. My friends I told overtime over the past few years usually face to face. Many of them had already suspected and were just waiting for me to tell them in my own time.
Some had no clue. The first person I told many years ago was my high school best friend. At this time in our early 20's we were still best friends. Since then we have drifted apart and do not talk. The last conversation I had with her she told me she couldn't be friends with me anymore as she didn't agree with me sleeping with married men. I don't really understand her objections and reasoning she raised as they do not impact her directly in anyway, but I do respect her decision if she isn't comfortable being around me.
It did hurt a lot to loose her in my life but I wish her all the best. This was the reaction that most surprised me. I wouldn't call it courage, more impatience. I just got fed up with lying and feeling like my lie was alienating me from the people I wish to be the most honest with. I got to the point where I knew if they rejected me I would feel hurt, but at least I would know and could move on.
Coming out has been liberating and calming. I can already feel my relationships with those still around me growing stronger.
Most of my friends don't care, the only worry about my safety and that's a justified concern to have. In fact most reactions that express concern are in regards to safety. I have talked to each person about how I operate my business to reduce potential harm that could come my way and assure them if I ever need anything I will let them know. Thank you for your answer, it means a lot! I'm glad you were able to come out about being a SW and it sounds like your family is coming around which is great to hear!
You said you told your sister, I have two little sisters who mean everything to me and I'm worried that they might not except what I do.
Were you worried about this too? I hope all goes well with telling your mum. I also wanted to ask how you came up with your name? And how you came about being a SW when you first got into it? My little sister has been the most interactive and supportive. I am blessed to have her in my life, she is true champion!
I always loved the name Vivienne Vivien Leigh. I love old Hollywood and a lot of the other names were in use at the time. Black sounded a bit mysterious I guess. It took me about three months to set on it. I started working for an agency in Sydney whilst at university. I was sick of trying to make ends meet and live comfortably. Hi Vivienne, did you ever think on using your skills to provide sex coaching, or sexual life enhancements for couples? There is so many unhappy people out there..
As much as I would love to offer coaching and aspects related to that, I don't think at this stage I am qualified enough to do that. The psychology behind why some may not be happy is something I have no training for.
I always like to make sure I am neat, tidy and clean. I love a hot shower and often get myself a little bit excited there first.
The anticipation of seeing clients can be a turn on. One thing I find that makes me feel confident for the bedroom is when I do have time to take my time getting ready. No rush and no fuss, play some of your favourite music and really let yourself be excited, having sex is a fun experience that is to be enjoyed.
Put on your favourite lingerie, stockings and dress and slowly tease your partner as you strip them off! Let yourself feel empowered and happy. Leave your reservations at the door and have a great time!
Did you write the introduction section of your website? And if you did, how was that experience, writing about yourself in such strong terms? I'm coming at this as someone who hates selling or even talking about myself.
You also mention that you can bring along a male or female playmate for a 4-way couples session on your site. Where do you source your "playmates? Your PSE service refers to shibari and impact play, are you strictly a top in those circumstances? Yes I did write it myself. I had to write it in the third person as I also found it rather difficult to convey what I wanted to say without feeling embarrassed.
I do have a few different ladies and gents who are also workers that I often suggest to participate. I have not let many clients dominate me in regards to rope play, the ones I have I have seen many times and feel comfortable enough to do so. If there is another worker in the booking with me, I am more than happy to be restrained. I am a big believer of the do not kiss and tell.
I do get many amazing and bizarre requests, the weirder the better! The requests I do not accept and find troubling revolve around incest role play. I don't judge anyone who makes these requests but I do not feel comfortable providing it. This one is a bit of a difficult one to answer. Consent is the primary ingredient in a sexual encounter, if at anytime another persons consent has been stripped from them in any way, then yes it is rape.
Consent comes in many forms. Visual queues, vocal queues and physical queues need be listen to. It is so important to continually check in at each stage to confirm the consent is there. Relaying on a safe word is sometimes not enough. I do not provide filming and will not be doing porn. Photography for publication would depend on the content, sorry I can't be more specific with a cost. Just like any other woman my ideal date for today would differ tomorrow. We do love to change our minds don't we?
It all depends on what mood I am in at the time and who I am sharing the time with. I love to get to know all my clients so I do prefer longer engagements, I feel the chemistry has the potential to exceed new heights. With that said I do also love my shorter PSE dates, I do love sex and enjoy exploring my clients and my own limits. These two were under the influence of some kind of drug.
They cased my room looking for my money to steal. I moved them towards the bar area and offered them a drink and to keep them talking. Talking calmly and slowly and not showing them my fear. Slowly I managed to talk them all the way back to the door and out of it. Locking them out I called the hotel security to have them removed from the building. This was one of the only bookings I did not screen my client correctly.
I did not ask for a deposit as it was last minute and in my rush to confirm the job I neglected my intuition. Needless to say, I have made sure best I can that this doesn't happen again by being more stringent. Users, please be wary of proof. You are welcome to ask for more proof if you find it insufficient. OP, if you need any help, please message the mods here.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. As someone who chooses her own clients, do you factor in the attractiveness of the client when deciding if they're the right fit for your services? If so, where do they fall in terms of importance?
Attractiveness comes in many forms and is typically not solely based on physicality. After all, beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. Every body is beautiful in their own way. Personally I find intelligence, kindness and thoughtfulness more attractive than physical features.
All of my clients are important to me for their individual attributes. When deciding if am the right fit for a client I ask many questions regarding what experience they wish to have. If I feel I am unable to provide that, I do not accept the booking.
Do you ever have clients that want to 'save you from your fate'? Does a lot of people ask you why you are in your industry? In short, yes I have encountered a few clients who have said that. In find it really insulting as I think sex work has saved me in a way. It's bettered my life and given me so many great opportunities. My fate without sex work would be uninspiring.
With that said in the past it's not so much the clients but previous boy friends or friends who have expressed their desire to "save me". These people lacked the ability to understand that I chose this line of work for myself and that it makes me happy. They attached their own stigma against workers to me. Needless to say, I no longer have these people in my life. I do get asked why I am in this industry all the time.
I started because I needed money to support myself and I stayed because I want to. This work gives me much more than just finical freedom. It's particular life style just suits me. I once set a bed on fire in a hotel room with a candle. Naked and panicked my client and I managed to put it out. It wasn't very easy to try cover that one up to the hotel staff but I couldn't help but laugh at how silly the situation was. Two grown adults fully naked, covered an wax and water trying to conceal a burnt patch on the pillow and bed whilst requesting new set of sheets Another would be my cat trying to sit on a clients lap whilst he was getting a lap dance.
My cat wanted a front row seat lol. My mentoring business was set up with the aim to teach workers skills and give them the tools to run their own business efficiently. Brand awareness and concepts Advertising and marketing Providing workshops on sexual health and the importance of consent Safety tips and tricks Accounting and financial planning Business plans and goals Networking in the industry and one on one advice.
Each worker usually stayed with me for about 3 - 6 months learning these. One or two stayed much longer. Hi Vivien, as a professional who has to deal with penii regularly - what would you prefer in a customer a circumcised penis or intact?
Hi, You said you're going back to uni at some point. Now that you revealed your face, are you concerned what will happen when other students recognize you?
We all know how stressful uni can be, but with the potential of other students bullying and trolling you because of the stigma associated with SW. Have you had a similar experience in public places or a workplace before?
One of the joys of coming out as a SW is feeling free to express who you are, on the flip side to that we also have to be conscious of who knows about our work. Not everyone is accepting and some can try to take advantage of you in many ways. I am not concerned to be recognised at university for being Vivienne. I am concerned about people knowing the details that I am both Vivienne and my actual self where I have no control over providing them with that knowledge.
Without having the ability to asses what risk that may open me up to. With that in mind I have already been at university previously when my class mates have found out. The situation was incredibly stressful. At the time I was not out publicly as being a worker and I saw first hand how nasty others can be towards workers The feeling was isolating and caused me a lot of anxiety. I was younger then and since coming out I feel more prepared to re enter school.
I have an amazing support networking forming around me and to be honest I hope someone does try the same thing. After all I am going back to learn what I can do to change stigma and support others who have been in my position before.
I am confident in my choice now and have no qualms. I felt when I was hiding my occupation, that people would think I was ashamed of what I was doing.
I went to a high school function last year, people from my school had found out about my work, gossiping and whispering to one and other behind my back. I wasn't received well and the night and following catch ups were uncomfortable.
A few of my old friends are adult enough to still be around, the majority of them couldn't be further away from me and I like them at that distance. The way I see it is that if a person is that emotionally connected to my decision to work when they hardly know me, that they have to resort to lashing out and being nasty.
Then they have the issue that needs to be resolved and not me. So I have a question. As an escort how do you deal with men wanting to be more than just clients?
I haven't really had to deal with that too much. I have dated a client a while ago, I don't think I would ever do that again When I have had clients in the past who have wanted to cross over from professional to personal, I honestly just tell them I am not interested in that kind of relationship.
If their behaviour starts to make me uncomfortable or I feel me continuing to see them is damaging for them then I stop seeing them. Every client who wishes to have sex with me must wear a condom. Me as an escort not practicing safe sex is like a sky diver jumping out of a plane without a parachute.
No amount of money would or could be worth it. Condoms are something you tend to get use to if you wear them. If a client finds them particularly uncomfortable I try a selection of others to find one that fits the best, including non-latex as maybe they have an allergy. Once on if you warm the condom up a bit say with oral or in general just foreplay, guys tend to forget they are on and they don't find them a bother.
Any client who ask for natural sex with me tends to not get a booking. I always suggest they should be concerned if they are seeing SW not using protection, if not for the worker at least for themselves. All of the services I am comfortable offering are displayed on my websites.
There are no secret ones more money will unlock. Notice you mentioned "tend to not get a booking". Have there been times that you were comfortable with particular clients who get that type of booking? If I a client asked for natural sex I would explain the same reasons above to them as to why I do not offer natural sex. If they can't grasp the gravity of their request or persist in asking I do not see them. If in a booking a client is persisting to ask or tries to remove the condom, I leave the booking.
I would absolutely love to tour to the USA one day soon. Unfortunately I am concerned about not being able to enter the country due to my face being shown as a sex worker on the internet.
My job is illegal in most states in the USA. I hear through the grapevine some workers and non worker who are sexually promiscuous, are finding it difficult to gain entry to the country. As a hobbyist, I'm always concerned about STDs when engaging with an escort.
In general, what do girls do stay clean? Is it safe to assume the higher end the escort, the better she takes care of her health?
Yes, it is good to be concerned about your health. Whether you are hiring a worker or going on a non paid date. All adults should take sexual health seriously as many STIs are asymptomatic show no symptoms. Anyone who is sexually active should take precautions and be tested regularly. If you have many partners every months for a full check up is recommended.
It is not safe to assume anyone has a clean bill of health. I find your question is heavily loaded with negative stigma and propagating 'whoreachy' the pitying or attempted classification of sex workers against one and other based on how they choose to run their business.
Sadly this idea of a tier system in our community is just another part of the stigma that some do not understand or recognise as being disrespectful. In my experience, every worker I have met takes pride in their sexual health and the up keep of it. My super star PA Miss Elle, with a masters degree in sexual health. Regularly conducted the sexual health workshops for my mentoring business.
Her favourite quote she like to drill into our participants was "Mess with your health, mess with your wealth!
I do however have the luxury to do this and I understand not all workers are in the same position as I am. If you decide to see an escort and you can visually see anything that makes you concerned, it's best not to proceed with the booking. There are many websites that you can look up to familiarise yourself with the many signs and symptoms of STIs. One such resource is on the SWOP website. The link is below for you, other STIs are listed down the right side of the page:.
For me good sex is just as much giving pleasure as receiving. I guess SW are mostly aimed to please the client. How do you react to a client wanting to go down on you, fingering you, trying to get you to orgasm? I'm more than happy for clients to go down on me etc. As long as the client is being respectful to my lady bits and if needed can take some direction, then there is no issue at all.
My most common request is anal. Closely followed by golden showers, latex, cock and ball torture and foot fetish. How common is golden showers though? I've only had one guy ask me. And I'm too chicken. How much water do you drink before? I do get a rather large amount of GS requests in my PSE, sometimes they don't go through with it, sometimes they do. I usually drink half a bottle about an hour before the booking xx.
Hi again What do you see yourself doing in the future, would you expand your international tour destinations? How long will you or want to continue as a sex worker? Will you still want to be a SW once you get your law degree? I am trying not to tour as often this year but I will be trying to get to a few more international cities. In the future I will still be in and around this industry in one way or another.
I would like to continue doing sex work for as long as I can however I guess I just have to see where my path takes me. I've got a microeconomics question: What is the minimum amount of time a client can book, and why did you decide on that minimum?
My minimum booking time is for half an hour whilst on tour only , usually one hour is the minimum time whilst home in Sydney. I decided on that for me as I prefer to get to know my clients better. A rushed service I feel is not my best. One of the things I like about economics is that I learn things that are the exact opposite of what I was expecting.
I assume that you know fewer of the clients when you tour than when you are home, so I would have guessed that you would have a higher minimum time on tour than at home, in order to get to know your tour clients better.
Why the difference between touring and home? The reason I have a difference between tour and at home is because on tour my focus is work. I am usually up and ready, I don't have any other day to day plans to occupy my time. When in Sydney your logic very much applies.
I have to clean my incall, make sure I am available, take the time to get ready out of what could be a personal day. That is why one hour is my minimum there: In the future if you are planning to have a family and potentially kids as well. Are you going to be open with them about it? I am a SW in Australia and I have only ever worked for an agency. I am interested in trying out being independent - what would be your main tips to ensure that you keep getting enquiries? Also, what percentage of bookings would you say are made in advance as oppose to wanting to meet up as soon as they contact you?
Do a lot of your clients take drugs? I have found that with my agency work there is a lot of drug consumption and was hoping by working independently that could be avoided! This might seem extremely forward, but have you ever had preferred referrals to cosmetic practitioners for women in this industry who seek a bit of Botox or filler?
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Become a Redditor and subscribe to one of thousands of communities. Hello lovers, My name is Vivienne Black. Many kisses, Vivienne xx Follow my twitter vivienneescort [website ] www. Want to add to the discussion? Thanks for the good luck! Thanks from another curious escort. I have provided a link below with a small break down of the SA laws from the Scarlet alliance website: Do you have a significant other? Lack of ability to communicate in a respectful manner Unwilling to pay a small deposit to confirm the booking Unwilling to provide a reference from another worker Attempting to discount or pressure for services that are not listed or I have confirmed I am not comfortable providing.
In Australia our laws that govern sex work are determined by each state. This means that we don't have a federal law that protects all workers.
Unfortunately not all workers are treated equally in each state. Many are not afforded the protection they deserve in the eyes of the law. Best of luck with everything xx. I love the theatre and try to see as many shows where I can. I have three lines of questions for you if you're still answering.
I have answered your questions below: No I haven't, this is my first time on this forum and I was not aware I could do that. Would you mind explaining how? Many kisses, Vivienne x. Very interesting that you are you! I shall give it a go now: Was this something you did for yourself or was it fulfilling a threesome request for a client? I have a bit of an unusual question: Thanks, and good luck. In regards to the first article you referenced: In regards to the second article: To briefly touch on the "friend - zone.
For instance, consider the next issue you responded to: Thank you again, Vivienne, for your perspectives and your efforts to resolve these issues.
All the best and thanks so much for reaching out. I'd gild if you weren't a throwaway! I have attached a link for you below: I wish you all the best with your new endeavour x.
If a new client requires outcall services, do you usually just ask the client to book a hotel room or meet him in his residence? What do you usually put in your bag to see a client?